Not a Painter

When I review my 50 years of writing I find recurring stories. For example, the one I tell about Father’s political organizing during the John F. Kennedy campaign was repeated at least a dozen times. As I write my autobiography is seems better to distill those versions into a single narrative, one for the record, one which becomes the story. When I’m gone, who will have time or make it for all those versions? What are those previous efforts? They record a narrative that is part of me the way an artist makes sketches in a notebook.

Most of my writing is unpaid. I don’t seek financial return for investment in narratives. Writing helps me understand a complex world and my role in it. It provides a way of seeing the world outside living memory. When I pass, my living memory goes with me, except for the renderings I make as artifacts. Even then, only the writing would remain. I am not a famous person so the narrative may well end with me.

Writing this blog, journaling, and posting on social media are all rough drafts. Some are better than others. None of them is an autobiography the way my actual draft autobiography is. It is important to keep writing and re-writing our history in hope of getting a version that seems right. In the end, I’m not sure that is possible. In the end, the version will be final, like it or not.

Creative endeavor is important in every life. I systematically explored various creative outlets outside writing: playing music, drawing, painting, ceramics, photography, cooking, gardening, and others. To support these endeavors, I studied the world through travel, visiting museums, visiting cities, formal education, living in a foreign country, working a career that involved meeting thousands of people, and reading more than most people. Creative endeavor means different things, yet for me it was always being an artist, at least in part.

It seems important not to muddle things. While I painted a bit, I am not a painter. I made ceramic pots, yet I am not a potter. I devoted long hours to playing the guitar, and am not a musician. I am a writer. Knowing that, the next step is being the best writer I can be. I discovered it takes a few rough drafts.