Letters from Mother

While sorting my papers I made a pile of letters from Mother beginning when I left for university in 1970 and ending when I returned from military service in 1979. There are about 50 of them, containing a lot I didn’t realize when I received and read them the first time. What does a person do with such artifacts?

She wrote a lot of them while working at the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers on the Rock Island Arsenal. She mentioned writing them on her breaks, yet from the tenor of the letters, I believe she also wrote them on her work desk. It was her chance to get me caught up on family news while she was working an important job.

The early letters are newsy, yet part of them is also about her adjusting to being widowed at a young age. She didn’t date anyone new for a long time after Father died. She felt socially uncertain about attending parties solo. One summer she had a romance with someone who worked for the AAA ball club in Davenport. When he moved back to California at the end of the season, the relationship was over. The level of confidence she shared with me did not broach my consciousness at the time.

She didn’t know how to handle the fact I enlisted in the U.S. Army after graduation from university. Having lived through the aftermath of World War II, the Korean Conflict, and Vietnam, I’m certain she was concerned for my safety as only a mother could be. She attended my commissioning ceremony at Fort Benning, Georgia and talked about visiting me in Germany while I was stationed in Mainz. We never got her trip to Europe arranged.

She worked several jobs to make ends meet. In addition to her work at the Corps, she worked at a credit union and did keypunch for the American Automobile Association. She liked the keypunch work, as that’s how she got started working for the government. She could go in for her shift, do her work, and leave any thoughts about it behind when she left. Unfortunately the keypunch work was lowly paid and she soon quit because the work did not pay enough.

She often complained in the letters of how tired she was from working. She accomplished a lot after Father died yet I believe she would have been fine had the two of them had a full life together. She made clear in the letters returning to the workforce was something she was forced to do to survive as a widow.

She wrote a long letter after discovering there was an inheritance of land in Virginia. My Great Uncle Roy had been settling the estate of Patrick Henry Addington and Tryphena Ethyl Miller, my great grandparents. They died intestate and there was a matter of land to be divided among many relatives. With the death of my paternal grandmother and my father, those many relatives included me.

In the letter Mother wrote about possible plans for the land. While Great Uncle Roy had been buying everyone out to get clear title, Mother and my Uncle Gene had discussed joint ownership of our share. She described two level surfaces on what would have been our plot, where a house could be built. We would share use of the property, she proposed. Nothing came of this and during a 1983 trip to Virginia, I quit claimed my share to Uncle Roy.

Letter writing is a lost art in 2024. It is a much different thing to sit alone and write to someone we’ve known our whole lives. If I were stationed in Germany today, and Mother were still living, we’d no doubt video chat via Discord or Face Time or Zoom. She did such a good job writing letters I continue to learn from her. For the time being, I’ll keep them.